Interview
I had never felt this much pressure in my life. I know that this was just an interview that I was doing for my English 21002 Writing for the Social Science Class but this was Columbia Law school where I was doing the interview. I have no idea if I was being crazy for being so nervous. Just the fact that I was able to get to talk to someone from admission at Columbia law seemed crazy. I kinda just expected them to just scoff and turn me away since I’m not even a senior yet. Surprisingly they didn’t. I had sent them an email a few weeks earlier to see who and where I could talk to someone about the admission process if they would even let me. I was surprised when they emailed me back saying that Columbia had an open door policy and anyone can talk to the admission officers. I honestly thought they were going to send me an email telling me to email at another time or something like that. Reading the email it felt like an advertisement trying to encourage to apply for their school.
It was crazy that a place that I never thought I would ever get to enter was possible. To be honest the main pressure came from just the fact that I was going to this famous, fancy, ivy league school and that in three years I would be applying to this school. I got lost several times since the admissions office is in a different building than the actual law school. Entering both buildings felt weird. Like I thought it was going to be harder to get into the school but it was really easy. You just walk in and no one says anything. I was waiting for someone to ask me what I was doing and then escort me off the premise. I felt like a fraud like I didn’t belong there.
Even talking to the people there I felt like I didn’t belong. They were such insiders. To be fair they were admissions officers of the university. I don’t know how much more of an insider you have to be unless you’re the dean or somebody like that. When I went to the 5th floor I talked to this receptionist and he was very nice to me. Had a warm smile and tone when he talked. He was on the phone several times but we managed to talk for a bit. He asked me what I came to the admissions floor for. I explained to him that I was came to do an interview to learn more about the law school admissions process for a project I was doing for English class. Then he asked me what I wanted to know and if I wanted to tour Columbia law school. Offered me some brochures, pamphlets and a book talking all about the school. He had me sign my name on the guest list. I had noticed that everyone on that list but me had applied to Columbia law this year. One thing I do remember when he was asking what I was coming here was if I was a student at Columbia University. I wished now that I had lied and said yes but I said no I was a student at CCNY. The look on the guy face or maybe it was just me felt this sense of an ok disappointment kind of vibe. Made me kinda feel like I didn’t belong and shouldn’t have come.
After talking with me for a bit he had he talk to this admissions officer. It was a woman named Cathy. She was a bit taller than me, young like in her thirties she seemed, dressed very professionally in a suit that you can expect an office worker to wear. I asked if I could record the interview and she politely told me no. “ I would prefer not” was exactly what she said. She spoke in a very professional diplomatic manner. When I asked questions about the admissions process it reminded me of things that I read on the website. Like when I asked her what made an applicant stand out. She said “it’s a holistic process.” A phrase that I have commonly heard when researching about the college admission process. I feel like that’s what a lot of schools like to say to avoid talking about the admission process. It’s a phase that admissions like to use to defend their process and keep it in mystery which has upset people especially due to the college admission scandal. People are fed up with not understanding the admission process. I was thinking about that after the interview was over. Just how similar the conversation about applying to grad school and undergrad is. I thought it would be different because the graduate school is more concentrated in doing the field that you want to do while undergrad is usually a liberal arts education. I guess I was wrong. Apply to graduate school just the tone just felt similar to applying to another college. It did kind of annoy me but it wasn’t her fault.
I tried my hardest not to show how I felt which I felt like I did well. Maybe if I had been more open minded this interview could have been better. She was quite stiff. Like she sat upright and was very serious. I felt like she might have been a bit off put by me taking notes. She kinda spoke a bit fast so I just stopped trying to write notes and tried to have a conversation instead. It was a good experience learning more about the law school admission process. I’m glad that I went outside my comfort zone and got more active. At least I’ll be prepared on how to fill out my application for CCNY Skadden Arps program. It’s a program which helps students prepare for law school and assist in the application process.
Field Observations
Seeing the campus of Columbia University it was everything that I thought that an ivy league school would be. A big beautiful campus with big marble buildings and perfectly cut grass. Students who are smart and academic that carry their books everywhere to stay on top of their class. Their minds not even on class but making plans to changing the world. Seeing the gates that allows you to enter the university it felt like I was seeing the gates of heaven or something greater and higher than myself. I felt even unworthy to even be near or look at the campus. I was a peasant looking at the heavens. Looking at Columbia law school across the street on the other hand was a different story. The school didn’t match the grandeur as the undergraduate school people are familiar with and picture when they think of Columbia University. The building is completely bare and minimalistic in design that it looks like a giant copper colored cube. I would have never thought that the building was apart of Columbia university if it didn’t have the sign Columbia Law School created by metal letterings on the side of the building. Even then the lettering blended in with the walls were almost invisible since the letterings had no shing or polish to it. If it wasn’t for the stopwalk no one would see the sign since they would just pass it by.
Seeing the university and knowing that it is a few blocks away from the City College of New York it was quite astounding to see the stark contrasts between both places. Comparing both campuses is like night and day. It is a perfect representation of the wealth gap between the rich and poor. In a sense the contrast between both schools represent New York City since it has some of the wealthiest people in the world and at the same time has a high rate of poverty. It showed how much money can make a difference to a place. The campus at Columbia looked shiney and new. Well cared for and clean with no garbage on the street. So was the entire neighborhood around it as well. You can tell how much wealth and power Columbia brought to the community by just looking at the stores around them. The grocery store next to the shake shack near Columbia was like an upscale whole foods. Everything there sold was organic and very expensive.
The irony that I am admitting is that the only reason that I liked Columbia was because if it’s name and reputation. Actually not even that I liked it. I liked it since it was an ivy league school that is in New York City. If I got into a school like Columbia I feel like it would validate me as a person. Like I’m an actually smart person since I feel like I need something to prove that I am an actual smart person. I wanted proof that would be indisputable and getting to an ivy league school would do the trick. Since everyone knows how notoriously hard it is to get into an ivy league school. It would be something that I could brag about to others and feel like I actually achieved something. It would show that I actually accomplished something worthwhile since I’ve existed on this earth.
Going to an Ivy would open doors that normally most people can’t open. Such as the connections that I would get to make by meeting other alumni who are powerful. People who are influential in the fields that they work in. I would have felt like I was following in the footsteps of people who have made history if I had actually applied. I never applied since I knew that I would never get in. Not only because I wasn’t the smartest person to have ever lived, parents who were alumni or had a ton of money, or anything particular skills that made me special, but simply because I knew that I was not hungry enough. There are so many people that worked hard in high school and that were willing to put in the work to make something happen. That wasn’t me since I didn’t have the will to do so.
Hence why I felt unworthy seeing and being near Columbia University. All I could think about seeing the students going through the gate was how hard the people had worked and how special they must be since Ivy league schools are shrouded in mystery and mystique. The people entering the gate they seemed to know what they were doing and so confident of themselves. Like people that have everything in their life all under control and are seemly perfect. In some ways they are like demigods since they managed to get through the trials and tribulations of the college admissions process. The people who won the hunger games and made it. I tell myself that college is my second chance to go to an ivy league school for law school. It would be my redemption but I have no idea if I’m going to make it. I wish I could understand how those students in ivy league schools are able to handle the pressure of having to succeed and be perfect.
