I used to be a senior in high school now I am a freshman in college. I used to be in California but now I am in New York. This whole year has been a learning curve and quite an experience. It has been interesting not living with my family and taking care of myself. Being completely responsible for myself is an odd feeling especially grocery shopping. That’s when I feel the effects of not having family around. I was used to having a refrigerator full of food for me to eat. Now I have to remember on the weekend to buy food and not to always buy a bunch of snacks or junk food. I cook a lot more now since no one will cook for me. That has been quite an experience cooking on a consistent basis. I used to have friends and family who cooked for me now I have to cook for myself. I take care of doctors appointments, money, and getting things done. If I want something I have to go for it and not rely on anyone. Being able to do things without anyone is what I have been working on this past year.

Reflecting on this semester academically in english class has made me think about my personal growth as well. The freewrite where we talked about who we were and who we are now has been my favorite class activity. Usually I don’t really like writing reflections since I never feel like I have grown or changed at all so I never really know what to write. So I usually end up writing a bunch of random stuff to say something to get credit. This time is different since I have a lot to write about now.

This year has has the most amount of growth and changes I have experienced in my life. First big change which has been the biggest was moving to New York from California to come to City College. Ever since I was young I always had this dream of moving to New York City going on adventures and living a grand life just like the movies. Moving away from friends, family, and everything I have known not only forced me to become more independent but to also find my own voice. To truly find out who I was since I was a blank white canvas without my past defining me. No one knew who I was so I could be anything that I wanted to be. I was truly the master of my fate for once in my life. Everything that I have achieved here in New York I have achieved on my own merits. I had to since I had no one to depend on.

This semester has resulted in the most amount of growth I have ever had in my life.  Due to a falling out with a person, from my high school, that I thought was a close friend it motivated me to push myself. First semester I was complacent and I wasn’t really motivated to find volunteer work, internships, or any activity that would boost my resume. After the falling out I needed something that would divert all my energy from all the anger, rage, and frustrations that I had to something productive. I made up my mind that I was going to be more active and find things that would help me apply to law school and have a bright future. I was going to be more connected to the community in New York. So I applied to a bunch of organizations needing volunteers and fellowships. I applied to City tutors, a crisis counselor for the suicide hotline, the S Jay. Levy Fellowship, and joined CCLP (Coalition of Concerned Legal Professionals). Everything but the suicide hotline I got accepted into and have gotten involved in.  Each organization that I have joined has helped me grow. For example I applied for a job as an office assistant at The Towers and I got the job. I accredit getting the job due to the confidence I got from the volunteer work that I was doing. When I was at the interview I was confident when I talked about myself and my abilities.

How I see myself, my abilities, and the possibilities lying ahead in my future has changed me so much. I feel like I can do anything and that the possibilities are endless. I never want that feeling to stop. If it had not been for the fallout I would have never pushed myself and none of what I achieved would have happened. I am able now to look more into the future and focus on it rather than my past. Last semester all I could think about and was focused on was about the past and holding on to a time period long gone when I should have been focused on the present and the future instead. Now I am and I am able to look forward without any regrets or worry. I look ahead not afraid but excited since not only the possibilities are endless but also the future is under my control one hundred percent. That makes me excited

I also feel more connected with the community in New York City. I now feel New York City more as a home and a place where my life and future is heald. I am not just an observer or a visiter anymore wondering what my future in the city will be like if I have one at all. Now I have more roots into the community giving me the ability to be able to stay even after I graduate from City College. It has made me more of an insider than when I first moved in August completely ignorant of the community and my surroundings.